Drama as a weapon

Saw another fun Twitter post today by a man wearing make-up.  The gist of it was that TERFs are a “disease” and don’t deserve to be called feminsts.  Are some people incapable of rational cool-minded conversation or are they deliberately using drama as a weapon or is it some of both?

I have an older sister who has always been the “drama queen” of the family.  I hate that term, by the way, because I have met far more men who are “drama queens” than women.  But I use it this once to give readers a sense of the times I grew up in.

So my sister entered high school and quickly found out that being pretty made people willing to put up with a lot of drama.  An older boy took interest in her and then the serious troubles started. Nothing was more important than their Great and Wonderful Romance Like Nobody Else In The Family Has Ever Had Or Could Possibly Understand.  She tossed studies and jobs aside for the sake of this guy.  And, why not?  Studying is boring, living by the rules like other people is boring, planning for life is boring, avoiding troubled people is boring, etc.   DRAMA is fun and if drama is involved, then you don’t have to bother with those stupid people who want facts and drone on about bad decisions and consequences and how your behavior can hurt other people and on and on and boring!

So, drama became the thing my sister lived for and a weapon at the same time.  I learned all about derailing, gas lighting, false accusations, lies, etc. long before the internet was accessible to the masses.  I grew up as witness and hostage to somebody who could not stop and observe the world around her long enough to see that she was born into a rigged game.  I have watched my sister flail through relationships, marriages, abortions, child given up for adoption, children kept and raised poorly, drug use and abuse.  The number of conflicts with other people and the lies told about those people and conflicts astound me to this day.  I have had no contact with my sister for years since I realized that the drama could never stop with her and escape was my only hope.

And so here I am getting back to my radfem roots and seeing that a new type of “drama queen” has arisen.  A subset of trans activist (and their supporters) who cannot deal with anything short of complete agreement and surrender to their demands.  There is no regard for the rights of others because (DRAMA) No People Suffer As Much As We Do and Anybody Who Disagrees Is Bad And Evil!  People citing boring old facts and basic biology are to be (DRAMA) shouted down with slurs and magical thinking.  Using the correct pronouns for people is (DRAMA) unforgivable but calling people by a made-up word (cisgender) is just fine.  This subset of trans activists and their handmaidens constantly act as if they should be the only people that matter and they do seem to thrive on a steady diet of drama.

So, where does that leave a real feminist?  It is easier to give in and let bullies have their way and many libfems have done this, even the ones I suspect don’t believe the lies.   There are many libfems and neolibs who actually believe this-men-are-women-just-by-saying-so nonsense and so they have it easy.  Kool-aid down the hatch, thinking not required.  Real thinking feminists are not able to accept the lies and have to face the drama head on with truth and strength.  I have my own life experience to help me since I have seen how the drama-person fights and have seen the long term toll that love for drama will take on them and everybody around them.

Being able to shrug off drama-person lies, slurs and threats is just a necessary life skill for radfems.  The ability to stay on point and not fall for the endless derailment attempts is needed. Letting drama-people know that they will always be met with the simple facts repeated to their every fantasy will result in them trying to up the drama level with slurs and false accusations.  That is when the discipline to remain calm is the best weapon.  Radfems have to do what we have always done, stand strong and fight for women.

Well, this post took a meandering path to get most of the way I wanted it to go, LOL!  Don’t be dismayed by the seemingly endless parade of DRAMA our opponents use.  If they had facts, logic, science, decency and respect for women on their side, they would not have to bully with all the emotional blackmailing and drama tactics.